Of Carpet and Other Things

Somewhere amidst the turkey and stuffing we managed to get work done on The Serpico House this past weekend. First off, I would like to mention that doing any kind of home renovation with Xavier in the house is kind of crazy. The boy wants to check out everything--the fireplace, the stove, the drawers, the steps--and it's all stuff that would probably kill him, so we have to ever vigilant to make sure he's not setting himself or the house on fire or breaking his bones on one thing or another. We really appreciate the folks who helped us out with him--my parents, Lacey and CJ. Without their involvement, I am pretty sure we'd be even crazier than we are now. Thanks, guys.

Xavier is the foreman on the Serpico job--"Hey, time is money. Bear hats ain't cheap."

Bypassing the nicey-nice things like yummy thanksgiving leftovers with my parents and figuring out the gas fireplace (light the pilot... and it works!) , let's talk about the floors. You've seen the nasty-ass, stinky carpet in previous posts. Let me tell you what happened...

Remember the carpeted bathroom with the gray-and-pink tile? Well, thankfully, that carpet came up easily--one strong pull, and here's what we have....

Pink is SO not my color.

Yeah. More pink and gray. Not my first choice, but, luckily for us, it's in nice shape, and there's only one area with adhesive remainders near the door. We're thinking a little Goo Gone will do the trick on that stuff. The floor itself is honestly not bad. We'll need to do some caulking around the tub and walls, but otherwise it'll be fine until we can afford to do a full-on gut and renovation. We will, however, get rid of the curtains. A man can only abide so much pink.

The first big room we tackled was Xavier's room. It had the icky green shag-style carpet. Nasty. Here's what we found when we started pulling up that crap...

This padding stuff looks like really old pizza,.

Yes! We were pretty excited to see a nice floor under there. We think it's oak. Or something. Whatever. It's nice and in good shape. Oh yeah, check this out...

Yep. The carpet padding still bore its Sharpie marker tattoo. And, ew... it was rotten. As was the carpet. We made a rookie error when removing the carpet, though--we just pulled it up and yanked it into the hallway. That's not the preferred method of the pros, and I blame myself for being over-excited about the whole thing. Hell, I didn't even wear gloves while tearing it out. (That was dumb, too. I'm pretty sure I don't want tetanus.)

What we were supposed to do was pull up the carpet and slice it into 3x6' chunks and roll them up with tape. Makes things a lot smoother for clean-up. That's not what we did. We made a mess.

Instead, what we had in the hallway looked a lot more like Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock.

I guess you can see the family resemblance, huh? 

That wasn't fun to clean up, but we managed. 

The tack strip in Xavier's room was newish (maybe 10 years old?), which meant it was hearty. In other words, it put up a fight, as did the many, many staples we encountered under the padding. Pliers, putty knives and pry-bars to the rescue! After some prying and sweeping, I think we wound up with something pretty nice...


Not bad at all, I thinks. But are you noticing something around the edges of the baseboards? Yeah, we noticed it, too. This....
Funky-ass gap, huh? I guess it's something like an expansion gap that the builders figured nobody would ever see, since we believe these floors have never been without carpet. Yep. So... it looks like we have a date with some quarter-round molding and a miter box. Yay. I'm guessing this will be the case in every room, since we encountered the same concern in the upstairs hallway, too.

Extra nastiness--the padding in the hallway had become so dead and worn that it was more like sand than padding. We expect most of the older carpet will have this kind of padding, which also explains the musty smell.



Gross, right? It's like sand under a spider-web-like membrane. On the plus side, all we have to do is sweep it up after pulling up the carpet, so, even though it's pretty disgusting, at least it doesn't have to be rolled up.

The tack strip in the hallway was a lot easier to pull up--we were getting foot-long hunks of tack strip out of the floor in the hallway, which is a big step up from the four-inch hunks we got out of the bedroom.

Seeing the hallway like this made me feel pretty good.
I'm sure Ms. Serpico would have been horrified at the wood floor, but I can't help that. We may call it The Serpico House, but it's becoming our house.

Now we just have about 1,500 square feet left to do...

New Home Countdown!

Only another week and a half to go. I can't wait to be out of this place. This neighborhood is LAME. I'm sick of trashy neighbors. I'm sick of the phrase "youse guys" and the Northeast Philly accent that accompanies it. I don't want my son growing up here. I don't want him growing up where the people litter and don't care about their property. I wasn't raised like that. I also wasn't raised to curse at nor in the presence of my elders. This neighborhood has gone to shit. The schools suck. Crime is on the rise. And I've discovered there are more sex offenders than a little bit. Hell no. We are out.

Our new neighborhood is in the burbs. It's quiet and clean. We have driven through the area tons of times at varying hours. It's always been good. The neighbors are nice. Our new house is a single with a nice front lawn and a big (but not too big) back yard. Xavier loves it. It's not too cold yet so he'll get some use of the yard before the weather gets too frigid.

For documenting purposes, I'll say a bit about the house. It's a colonial built in 1950 and has only had one owner. It's 3 bedrooms and 1.5 bathroom. There's a finished basement with two side rooms. One will be my gym and the other will be my soaping room until we can afford to have it converted into another bathroom. We'll move the laundry down there as well since the basement will be kind of a chill room. There's even a built in bar. The downside is all the wood paneling! The bedrooms are all huge. The middle room is gonna be used as an office & sewing room. There's an attic but we haven't been in it. Erik says it's big and clear. The only things we are immediately changing are:

• wall colors
• ripping up carpet (because there are beautiful hardwood floors underneath
• replacing the ugly kitchen counters
• replacing the stove, fridge, and microwave

Eventually, we will redo the that tragic pink bathroom. We'll also replace the sink in the powder room (half bath) with a slim pedestal sink. It'll look less crowded. Enough typing. 

<3 Avy

Uppa Da Stairs

I promised I'd show the upstairs of The Serpico House today, and I am as good as my word.

Let's have a look...
That'd be my dad pointing at the fold-up steps to the attic. This room will be Xavier's chill spot. Icky green carpet. Meh. It's gonna go. It's a nice room otherwise, though. Once the carpet is out, I think a coat of paint will do the trick on this one.

The attic is actually a good size (I walked up the steps and checked it out.) Apparently some of the other home-owners in the area have finished theirs and added a real staircase, which creates a very usable third-floor room. I do like this idea, but that can happen at some point down the road. As of right now, I think it's just going to be a hatch-thingy in the ceiling of Xavier's room. We'll have to figure something out with it before he becomes a teenager, though. Otherwise, you can bet it will become a den of illicit things very quickly.


Across the hall from Xavier's room is the office.


It's nice-sized room, for sure, and we're thinking this will be the place where we keep Avy's sewing stuff, the computer doo-dads and some of my guitar/music things. We also want to put a bed/futon in there for possible guests. Once again, the nasty carpet must go. A little paint n' spackle, and I think it'll be groovy. The window off to the right is a door leading to sort of deck thing. It's kind of odd--it leads to this hunk of flat roof above the kitchen. There's no decking on the roof, and there are no railings around it, either, so I don't know why the door is there, but all of the houses in the area have these things.

Possible uses for this extra space:

1. A deck. Duh. We could put some decking and a railing up there, and we'd have a nice little spot to watch the birds in the morning. Not a horrible idea.
2. Make the office into a master suite by building the deck area into a big-ass, baller bathroom. One of the back walls butts up to the back wall of the present second-floor bathroom, so this is a good possibility.
3. Nothing. Just keep it clean of leaves and make sure it's all painted up with roof paint and leave it alone.

We're going with the third option for now.

OK, so... on to our bedroom...Here we have the big bedroom. We plan to use this one. It's really a good size. The pink carpet is... um... not staying, and I am not sure why there's a chair rail all the way around the room, but... hey, it's a big bedroom with a two big closets. Xavier really liked the closets. A little paint, and I think we'll be good to go. I kind of hope they leave the bed. I think we could sell that sucker on Craigslist for a pretty penny. That's paint money, kids.

And now, another horror show. The bathroom.

Yep. Pink and grey. And carpeted. I guess it's not horrible, but Xavier doesn't look too excited about it. We want to do a total gut on this, but that might not be feasible any time soon, so I think we'll start with paint and getting rid of the damn carpet.

There's also a pretty horrid, cracked chandelier in the upstairs hallway--it makes the hallway glow red like it's a whorehouse in Amsterdam. That'll have to go, too. There's also a mystery light switch in the hallway with tape on it and a little note to "leave this on." Being the jerk I am, I turned it off to see what happened. Turns out it opens a portal to Narnia. Mr. Tumnus says hi. Actually, nothing happened as far as I could tell. That kind of thing can't stand in my home. Switches should have some kind of function or be banished to the great rift.

I see some wiring work in my future with this thing.


I'll show you the finished basement on Monday.

The Goods

So, you've got the back story, but let's face it... what you really want to see is the actual place, right?

Well, OK. Let's have a look. This is "The Serpico House" as you arrive at the driveway.




Pretty respectable and grown-up, right? Avy's pretty grown-up. Xavier's kind of respectable. I am neither of these things. Oh well, every neighborhood has one house that lowers the property values for everyone. I can't wait to litter that yard with car parts and an old refrigerator!

Kidding. I'm kidding. I will mow the lawn and trim the hedges like a good neighbor. Nobody will have any idea about the many depraved, low-class things happening behind closed doors at The Serpico House. Muahhahhahah... or something.

Let's walk in...




Yes, I see it. The corners of the steps need fixing. I'll get on it. I've already looked into the proper methods for repairing broken concrete steps, and I promise to get started as soon as possible. We haven't even signed the papers yet, OK? Sheesh.

Let's skip the front door (it's a door, ok?) and check out the living room.



As you can see, we used a wide-angle lens to capture as much of the room as possible, but I think you get the general idea here. The furniture may or may not be left behind when we take possession of the place. If it hangs around, we'll pick and choose, and then... hello, Craigslist. We are not too proud to make a few bucks online. Nope.

The carpets are as dismal and generally foul as they look, but we have reason to believe a nice hardwood lies beneath these gross, smelly things. And, yes, that's a real fireplace.... a gas fireplace with a remote control. Yep. I think that's gonna be pretty sweet once winter comes around, which, by the looks of things, is probably tomorrow. What happened to fall?


This is a view of the living room from a different angle. The fireplace would be behind you and to your left if you took this picture.. but you didn't take this picture, so stop taking credit for it. Oh yeah, those people in the picture? That'd be my dad (Bob) on the right and my mom (Shelly) on the left. That's the realtor in the middle, holding the toy truck. Just kidding. It's Xavier, the Smallest of Bears, leading the tour. He walked in there like he owned the joint from the very beginning. I think he knew something we didn't.

Right off the bat, I can tell you we are gonna try to sell that fugly mirror on the wall there. I'm pretty sure the owners aren't taking it. I will hope against hope that they will, but I doubt we will be so lucky.

Next, the dining room.



Pretty standard fare. More stinky carpet. I am, once again, hoping the furniture will be leaving, but, if it stays, I think Avy wants to keep the hutch thingy. Personally, I don't like those things, but she likes it, so... happy wife, happy life, right? I really hate the chandelier. I want that gone immediately... I'm thinking recessed lighting, or, if we can't do that, at least something that will sit closer to the ceiling. Call me odd if you want, but I don't like the idea of some big dangly wood and metal thing hanging from a chain over my head while I am eating. Oh yeah, you can't see it, but there's a bay window to the right. Pretty sweet.

Here comes a horror show. The kitchen.

Why, yes, that is, indeed, carpet. In the kitchen. What the hell? And... um.. yeah. A drop ceiling. And shiny wood paneling. And coral-colored counter tops. Don't ask me why the Serpicos wanted their kitchen to look like an office building crossed with a log cabin crossed with.. um.. something coral-colored, but it probably has something to do with sticking it to the man. Anyway... this is what we've got, so we're gonna see if we can make it work somehow. Avy says she will learn to tile. I say... YAY. Because I don't think I would be any good at tiling at all. And, yeah... you are seeing the washer and dryer at the end, there. On the plus side, everything in this room is absolutely immaculate, and we've been told that everything works perfectly. The Serpicos apparently took very good care of their things. I believe it. Aside from the rug being nasty, the place is immaculate.

There's a little half bath next to the kitchen...




Nothing earth-shattering... but there's frickin' carpet in there, too. Ugh. And I think we want to see about getting some different lighting, a different, non-medicine chest mirror and possibly a smaller sink. And ditching the carpet. So yeah, you know... not a lot of stuff to change here, right? Ugh.

But this is nice...



One thing Mrs. Serpico did correctly was build a nice patio and take care of her yard. She obviously loved the outdoors, and you really get the idea that she spent a lot of time out on this lovely little patio. The back yard is pretty large, and Xavier already loves it. He's only visited it twice, but he's checked out every corner already.

OK, we'll go upstairs tomorrow.

We've been wanting to move out of our area (Holmesburg, NE Philly) for a while. While it's not a terrible place to live, it's not ideal. Crime has been on the upswing lately, and that is obviously a concern. Safety is a big deal. Hearing gunshots at night and reading about mid-day home invasions a block away certainly are factors in our decision to find a new place.

Additionally, our small condo has practically no storage, and Xavier's toy/puzzle/general stuff level has been increasing by leaps and bounds, which has made our living areas shrink. I don't begrudge the kid his toys, but... wow. Our living room looks like a toy store sometimes, and it's really easy to clutter up such a small space. So we definitely need more room for everything.

And then there's school. The schools in our direct area have gotten generally not-so-wonderful reviews, and, if the kids running around our neighborhood are examples of the kind of education available in Holmesburg, well... yeah. The less said, the better. Xavier is only two (or, as he puts it, "Teeeewwwww!"), and, while we don't have to worry about real school for a bit, we just want to be sure we can guarantee he'll have a nice student/teacher ratio, high-quality curriculum, safe environment and all that good stuff. And, as much as I don't want to put down Philly teachers or schools (because I know they bust their asses for very little pay!), I have serious doubts about the Philadelphia school districts and their ability to provide these things.

And private schools? Too damn expensive. Too far away. Just... no.

So, as luck would have it, my parents (who are pretty damn great people, by the way), saw a house up for auction in the suburbs. Without giving too much specific information away, the house is not far from the area where I grew up, but the kicker is... this house is outside of the city. Good stuff. Avy and I did some research, and we discovered this colonial house was built in 1950, and it's only had a single owner--a family with the rather interesting and unique surname of "Serpico."

If I have to tell you why that is kind of amusing, you are probably not an Al Pacino fan, but that's the source of the name for this blog. Anyway, Mrs. Serpico passed away, and her family decided to auction off the house.

One thing led to another, and we went to the auction. Oddly enough, we actually lost during the bidding process, but, through a series of strange events, the high bidder wound up walking away from the deal, so, as the next highest bidders, we won the house. The official paperwork and handing over of the deed goes down at the end of November. We're on pins and needles until then.